2.19.2017

Even if you lose, that doesn't mean you're a LOSER.

Life is full of comparing and competing. And sometimes we're just not very good. It seems like someone is always better, always smarter, always faster.

In Preach My Gospel, the missionary handbook, it says "When you have done your very best, you may still experience disappointments, but you will not be disappointed in yourself. You can feel certain that the Lord is pleased... Avoid comparing yourself to other [people] and measuring the outward results of your efforts against theirs." I substituted "people" for "missionaries" because it's all the same. The Lord is all about the one, the individual. There certainly was no comparison in His eyes as He suffered for us one by one in the garden of Gethsemane.

This week I had 3 midterms.... woof. Although I was worried about all 3 of the tests, there was one in particular that worried me. I had heard the class was an especially difficult class, so I wanted to make sure I was prepared. I studied for hours, talked with the TAs, etc. Well, long story short, I walked outta there with a 71%. I was pretty disappointed. But even in disappointment, a still small voice whispered:

"You got a 71%. You are not a 71%."

My bad test score did not define me. Sure, maybe I tried and it didn't go as well as I had hoped, but I wasn't going to make myself miserable about it. I am not a 71%.

I am a daughter of God. And that right there makes me good enough.

When you are faced with disappointment, what is your reaction? When you make a mistake, what do you say to yourself? Let me just tell you that there is a BIG difference between "I'm stupid" and "that was stupid". Accept the fact that you're not perfect and you make mistakes, but at the same time, know you're good enough. Christ thinks so. That's why He died for you... He sees your potential and knows you're worth the great investment He made.

Elder Dube of the 70 came to our stake conference today. He said "Don't compare yourself. Do your best and that's good enough." So simple and so true.

God is our Father. He loves us unconditionally. He corrects us, sure, but because He sees what we can be with His help. We fail, so we learn to do better next time.

Friends, you're not a 71%. Remember that.

Heavenly Father surely loves you.

2.05.2017

Well hello there, it's me again.

Well it's been almost 2 months since I've been home from my mission. Strange to think that time has gone by so fast. I know I'm not a full time missionary anymore, but I still have daily experiences that help me become a better and happier follower of Jesus Christ. PLUS I know you're probably all missing those weekly letters of mine (or not, that's okay too), so I thought I'd write you a little something. I can't promise anything special, but I'll try.

Let me tell ya, transition from being a missionary to a real human (as I call it) is strange. It's awkward and uncomfortable and it's everything in between.

There I was sitting in good ole Concord, CA... And really, I felt useless. I had just gone from doing the most useful thing I've ever done, to having way too much free time on my hands. I was doing nothing, while it seemed like everyone on Facebook and Instagram had everything in life figured out. Man, social media is really good at making us think that we're the only ones that don't have our act together.

So, let's be honest here. Sometimes, life just doesn't always go as planned. Very relevant to my life here in snowy Provo, you just can't always see the black ice that catches you totally off guard and somehow causes you to end up falling flat on your bum in the middle of campus (I will not deny or confirm this embarrassing moment). Life is completely chaotic and totally unexpected.

Sure, there are days when you want to throw your hands in the air and give up on it all. There are days when people introduce you to the whole class as "Megan" instead of "Morgan", and you just go with it. Or maybe you just can't quite understand what God would have you do with the cards in hand.

It's so easy to get caught up in the future and "what we should be doing," that we forget about today. For example, "I should know what major I want to choose. I should know how to help a loved one who is struggling. I should know where I'll be in 10 years."

But what if we changed our mentality? What if instead we thought, "Today I woke up healthy. Today the sun was shining. Today I got a text from an old friend reminding me I'm loved. Today I was able to be kind to someone who needed it. Today I received personal revelation from Heavenly Father."? Would that change our attitude?

In praying again and again since being home to know what I should be doing with my life, I have received the same answer from Heavenly Father again and again. Maybe if I'm getting the same answer again and again, 1) I should maybe just get the message loud and clear, and 2) maybe it'll help you out too.

The answer I've been getting from Heavenly Father is simple: "blessings come to those that keep my commandments, so just keep my commandments; all is well, all will be okay if you just do your part."

My new favorite scripture is D&C 83:10, "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."

HELLO FELLOW PEOPLE OF PLANET EARTH. Why do we feel the need to over complicate things? It's SO simple. God has PROMISED us that if we do what He asks, then blessings are going to pour in. I'll take that deal any day of the week!

The other day, I found my self lost in conversation with Heavenly Father - but something about this conversation was different from other conversations I've been having with Him lately. It wasn't me telling Him what I still lacked in my life and then asking for it, but rather it was me understanding how truly blessed I was and thanking Him for being so good to me. The words "I am content with my life. I know it's not perfect, but I am so blessed. I am happy" kept circling through my mind.

I'm sure at the end of this life, when I kneel at my Master's feet, I will not think of how seemingly hard and confusing life sometimes was. I will be overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. I will think of this simple equation:

God's promise + my obedience = blessings... and eventually, eternal life.

Don't be hard on yourself when you're unsure of what is in your future - all the unknowns and uncertainties. That'll come, line by line. Just do what you already know to do... love the Savior and keep His commandments. And that's where we find happiness. Not because everything is perfect, but because we have God's word, His promise, that all be well.